Limiting beliefs come from opinions from others, and thoughts that one assumes are true. This belief can also often result from negative experiences or actions from people.

Our brain collects information around us so that we can better understand the world we live in.

When we come across something that didn’t work a few times, the brain will relate that experience as something we should not attempt or something we are unable to achieve.

What are self-limiting beliefs?

Self-limiting beliefs are perceptions about yourself that you think is true. Here are some common limiting beliefs we have:

• I’m not good enough
• I don’t have enough time
• I’m too young or too old for that
• I don’t have enough talent for it
• I can’t find a partner because of my face/height
• My IQ is low so I can’t be brighter than others
• My circumstances prevent me from succeeding

You begin to believe those thoughts and even try to find evidence to further support it. You give up before you even start and don’t even bother questioning those beliefs, limiting yourself from successful growth.

What causes self-limiting beliefs?

Your brain is very good at identifying risks and it restricts us from doing anything that may have the chance of harming us. Triggering fear, irrational feelings, and post-trauma to keep you safe in your comfort zone.

The brain will prioritize negative experiences over positive ones. This can create ideas about you and limit you to achieve your full potential.

Early Childhood

Beliefs are usually formed during our early childhood years when we are most exposed. Since our mindset is still developing and learning we can’t judge our emotions properly.

We are highly and easily influenced by our surroundings. Especially when we interact with our peers, family, and siblings. They can give us feedback such as if we are shy, talkative, or a likable person to them and we believe it to be the truth.

That perception forms a belief about ourselves and we connect that with our actions. Same with our environment growing up. If it was negative and you had to constantly struggle then you will see the world as a relatively harsh and risky place.

Common limiting beliefs

Here are some of the examples of limiting beliefs we have:

1. “I don’t have time”. I think everyone has given this excuse at some point in their lives. Usually, the meaning behind that is “I don’t truly care enough about it”, whether it’s a task, a relationship, goal. You have enough time, it’s what you do with it.
2. “I am not smart enough”. Yes, some people are brighter than others and I won’t say you can become the next Albert Einstein if you work hard enough. But intelligence isn’t fixed, you can always find a method to learn and become better at it.
3. “I am not capable to do that”. Afraid of failure and unable to handle rejections cause us to form a wall and not even attempt it. Only when you make an effort will you be able to know how much you are capable of achieving it and what you need to improve on.
4. “I am just unlucky”. Have you heard anyone say or maybe find yourself saying “That’s just my luck”? We give bad experiences more attention than good ones because our brain process negative emotion more in detail in order to keep us safe.

Such limiting beliefs are subconscious and rather tricky to identify. Limiting beliefs can trigger negative emotions causing you to procrastinate, anxiety, and feel like you have imposter syndrome.

Your beliefs are holding you back

“The key to making yourself limitless is unlearning false assumptions. So often, we don’t accomplish something because we’ve convinced ourselves that we can’t do it.” ~Jim Kwik

So many of us are going through life and thinking about we could do something more but never really take that step. We don’t want to get out of our comfort zone, trying to find any evidence to support our decisions to not put in any real effort.

When your belief in yourself is low, you don’t fully commit to your goals. That very same low energy output of the effort you put in will hold you back from success.

Not good enough

You assume that you’re not smart or talented enough because of a few setbacks that you have experienced. Question your assumption on whether that is true or maybe that statement was just for that moment in time.

Your mindset in thinking next time you will be more prepared and overcome your obstacles is important for success. Reframe your view on failure and adopt a growth mindset.

Instead of this belief of “This is just who I am”. Develop this idea in your mindset, “If I put my mind to it, I can definitely be one of the best”.

“Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude” – Zig Ziglar.

Our emotions hold us back

Ask yourself this. Do you fear your efforts will be pointless or did you place those limiting beliefs on yourself because feel you don’t deserve them?

I myself have fallen victim to this feeling of fear of failure and not being good enough. At first, the strong drive and desire to start writing blogs online were there and the process of creating something was exciting.

However, once I got some resistance and faced this “writer’s block” which allowed me to be distracted and eventually started to back off. I was not willing to fail or embarrass myself and that caused me to struggle even further.

After thinking about it for a long time, I realized I was holding myself back and didn’t want to face the reality that I might not be good enough or worried someone else might put that judgment on me. I didn’t want to face that discomfort and avoided it.

Wanting positive experience is a negative experience; accepting negative experience is a positive experience. ~Mark Manson

Overcome your limiting beliefs

Overcoming your self-limiting beliefs is not easy since it’s deeply rooted in us since our childhood years. The following are 4 steps on how to overcome them.

The first step is to Identify your limiting beliefs which can be hard and overcoming them is even more challenging.

Identify your limiting beliefs by listening to yourself talk when you’re facing an obstacle or experiencing a failure. Anything other than “I have learned my lesson and will do better next time” is an excuse.

4 types of limiting beliefs (from Mark Manson)

1. Limiting beliefs about yourself that make you feel like you can’t do something because something is inherently wrong with you.
2. Limiting beliefs about the world that make you feel like you can’t do something because no one will let you.
3. Limiting beliefs about life that make you feel like you can’t do something because it’s too difficult.
4. Entitled beliefs are delusionally positive about ourselves. For example, sometimes we think we’re so goddamn special, that the world just can’t handle us.

The second step is to ask yourself questions if those limiting beliefs are right. Can’t get a job or a promotion because of your gender or race? Can’t find a partner because of your appearance?

Imagine if you were wrong, would there be new opportunities that you can find?

The third step is taking responsibility. We would like to believe that circumstances are beyond our control and things just happen to us.

Life happens for you, not to you. ~Tony Robbins

Life is filled with events that are outside our control, but what we can control is how we react to them. We can master our emotions, find the lessons in failure, make smarter decisions, and work toward our goals, no matter what. (Tony Robbins)

 

The fourth step is to remove the craving for certainty. We all want comfort and stability but they can hold us back. Certainty is the killer of dreams.

 

 

It can stop you from taking the path of resistance which might be what you need to create a successful life. You might be staying in unhealthy relationships with romantic partners and even friends and family.